[♥]What do yah think of this poem that my friend wrote?

Summertime exudes the brightness of the sun.

Blooms flowers; numerous colors different in tint.

The heat emits from the heat waves, makes eyes squint.

Until the pursuit of the dog days are done.



Then, arrives the winter, when the sun shelters its glow.

Leaves falling, running away from the oaks.

The artic breeze, causing people to wear cloaks.

As they ramble on the gloomy, dull, peaceful streets of snow.



Winter, when the cheerful mood of summer goes

Away and everything looses its spark.

When the sky alternates from bright blue to gray and dark.

Summer, when butterflies aviate and green leaves grow.



Winter, briskness and glee are what it clearly seems to lack.

Until the summer comes along again, briefly bringing it back.

[?]What do yah think of this poem that my friend wrote?
wow submit that to your local newspaper
Reply:Lame, pointless, tired ideas executed in a childish way.
Reply:thats really good! A+++
Reply:It sucks.
Reply:It's ok but I don't see why there's such a negative view of winter. It's not all gloomy. Winter can be just as fun as summer.
Reply:What is she trying to say? To me, this poem doesn't seem to be offering anything. Some of the lines you can tell she was struggling to find a rhyme (like "causing people to wear cloaks.") Remember that poems don't always have to rhyme. Sometimes its good to have a few lines here and there that don't rhyme. It keeps it interesting.



"The heat emits from the heat waves, makes eyes squint."

I don't like this line. It's redundant. Try "Heat emits from the waves, making eyes squint," or something to that effect.



Anyways, these are just some quick suggestions. I'm not trying to be mean, I'm just giving you (and your "friend") honest feedback and criticism, rather just saying "it sucks" or "it's awesome."
Reply:No one can tell another how to express what is in their heart.
Reply:I wouldn't change anything.

Very nice work.

Hope they are going to get it published.

All the best.
Reply:I love it! This is one of the only good poems I have heard on Yahoo Answers, it is awesome!!
Reply:I must say I enjoyed it, although there are a few words

that seem a bit awkward, like "oaks" and "cloaks",

and maybe "loses its spark" and "gray and dark".

But it's a nice poem, and I understood it.

Here's one from me:



"One fine day as I was walking down the street,

Saw a beggar man with rags upon his feet...

Took a penny from my pocket; in his tin cup I did drop it,

And I heard him say as I made my retreat...



May the bird of paradise fly up your nose!

May an elephant caress you with his toes,

May your wife be plagued with runners in her hose,

May the bird of paradise fly up your nose!"
Reply:it sucks, rip it up and flush it down the toilet
Reply:it is good just blend the season in and you got a hit but you are good keep going
Reply:Seems ok! I don't think that she should change anything!
Reply:Why change it?



lulu
Reply:I don't think anything should be changed...Liked the poem.... Good job,well done....
Reply:sweetie,thats beautiful! Tell ur friend she should have that published or write other poems like that!