What d'you think about this poem???

On top of Old Smokey

All covered in snow

I shot my old teacher

5 minutes ago



I shot her with pleasure,

I shot her with pride.

I couldn't have missed her,

She was 50ft wide.



I went to her funeral,

I went to her grave.

Instead of throwing flowers,

I threw a grenade.

What d'you think about this poem???
Yours is good but why is there no punctuation in the first verse? Anyway, as I am a fat, ex-teacher I prefer this:



At the front of the classroom,

All covered in chalk,

I smacked one my pupils.

She was such a dork.



I whacked her with pleasure.

I whacked her with pride.

I wouldn't have missed her.

Oh my, how she cried.



She told the headmaster.

He shouted at me.

He said "Well Done there."

And we both danced with glee.



Jenn, I hope you take this in the spirit in which it was intended.
Reply:Thank you so much, Jenn. You inspired me. All my best wishes to you and your mate. Report It
Reply:I suppose it's funny if your 10
Reply:The original one was better. But not bad you.
Reply:interesting
Reply:Strange but funny
Reply:i wish i could of done this to a couple of tachers lol god I used to hate school
Reply:I think that poem could get your butt thrown in jail these days..curb the creativity, someone will call the FBI
Reply:Excellent but old hat Monty Pythonesque stuff. You should go far. Please do.
Reply:i like the ryhming..but the story is kinda scary and weird....
Reply:Very good lol.
Reply:Very juvenile....
Reply:a bit creepy to be honest.
Reply:If you wrote it, you've got urself a career. I have to show this poem to my friends! This is awesome!
Reply:interesting...is that poem about math teacher???haahhaha!!!!
Reply:um its ish ..
Reply:ye its ok a bit horrible but heywe are in the 21centurie
Reply:So this is how you spend your time. Thank you I enjoyed it.
Reply:did you worte it? if so good
Reply:i loved it
Reply:LOL